Treading a broken road

Last night I came awake while you were sleeping
As I looked to your face I realized I don’t know why I’m here
I can’t understand what this really means or why I stay
As I slipped off into my dreams I heard a voice a distance away
No one knows why their here and no one knows why
The only thing that matters is today
I feel this sliding far away
You’ll never be ready if you stay


While you slip away out of reality
I’m still here
Gripping at the shirt tail of the future
And what it holds for me, in the distance
Because my vice isn’t the same
As I prefer veracity over optimism
Keep walking on, never looking back

Lost lonely cause

Oh tomorrow why do you come so slow
Do you bring of new harvest to sow?
Oh today where did you go
Did you crash away in the tides so low?
Oh future what do you bring
a new life is what you sing
a past, present, future ring
oh tomorrow why do you come so slow?

When death beckons

There's a box on a shelf

all wooden in structure

As you walk by try to notice

Theres a lady in silver

as the dew settles calmly

the light trickles

through the crack in the door

the alarm sounds

please dont wake her while she sleeps

She doesn't have much time

sometimes you cannot see

what is truly in your eyes

So sit back my dear

dont count your days

love your grace for what its worth
never allow your heart to stray
She's trying so hard to stay

Crying as the morning nears

Un/ity

All around me white is all I see

from the clouds above to the flying doves

Wedding bells are beginning to disrupt my sleep

Diamond Rings and flashy things

Does this make everything right?

All the nights you stayed awake to cry

those days you looked in the mirror and asked why

Whats wrong with me you think

never stopping a beat to blink

Close your eyes dear its not worthwhile

Don't lose your pride in the glistening isle

too flawed too daunting that's me don't you see

How long dear did you feel it near

praying at night with radical faith

bargaining with your fear

When does time catch up with dreams

the ones we had in the early year

the ones we see far and near

be careful they say dont scare him dear

you never know if he will stay

and to this I say ... I think i'm going to be sick

The way I see it

I was thrown some words and phrases to which I answered with my opinion. It's a fun little thing to do when your bored.

The secret- is to find out what the secret is. To always love instead of hate. To always have high morals and respect those you love.
Teenage girls- dont want your advice they just want your sympathy
I've learned- that you dont appreciate the things you dont pay for yourself
The good guy- will always win in my book. Who wants to spend their life with a jerk?
My friends- are funny, mature and respectful
It is enough- to try your hardest and still fail
Survival has- been programmed into our brains and heart and only gets stronger when we need it
It's important- to live like your dying, because you are and the people you take forgranted wont always be here for you
The bass player is- usually fat ( dont get mad i said usually not always!)
Tuesday is- never the best day of the week, should I look forward or behind?
I should have- planned much much better
We are all here- for a purpose, find yours then work at it
My father was- someone I didn't look forward to meeting
I had a client- that was crazy EVERY SINGLE WORKDAY!
Accounting is not math- its the 6th circle of hell
It's been ten years- since I was just trying to be a normal 10 year old in a not so normal environment
After four hours- with you I realize that lonelines is not far out of sight

The worst part- of not knowing is the images and thoughts you create out of dispair
Don't waste- me with your tomorrows, tomorrow may never come, God never promised it to us. I'll explain more tomorrow ;)
If the neighborman- needs a cup of sugar I've got plenty
Cowboys- are hot (enough said)
My mother was- a mother, a father, a friend - and still is
A man- should always have facial hair, never use "im a guy" as an excuse for being a jerk, be a man not a boy, support himself and try to find his inner woman if he ever wantsto succeed in a relationship
Fear is- of the unknown. Past, present, future
There's that line- in Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carrey says "big gulps ehh boys" Cracks me up EVERYTIME
I'm afraid - Of being a single mom one day
I'm not afraid - of dying, heaven has to be much better than this

Are you still curious to find?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace ...

Have you ever thought about what anger and jealousy do to your soul and mind?
Anger is like holding onto a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone, your the
one that gets burned.

Its scary to think about being sad for so long that you can't escape your own warped thoughts. Its like being in a glass box, you see the outside but you just cant save yourself. So much time to yourself leads to unforgettable memories, the good the bad, the EVIL. I wonder what I did to make those things happen to me. I wonder why I still care even though its the past and thats were it should stay. I pray for the answers that I sometimes don't recieve.
More than anything I vow not to repeat the past or fall under pressure of the world around. I take pride knowing that I'm not the same. I question why you just can't be there for me like you promised and I answer with tears streaming down. If it were only like you said, it could be so different. We could be on the same ground, holding on to each other, because the world seems to drag down the best . I have no control over the things that mean the most to me. And if I've learned anything in these 20 years its that you can never count on anyone. It sounds harsh but its really not. You cannot expect to be happy because of someone else, you cant count on anyone to be there in the darkest hours. Many times people will fall short of your expectations. I keep imagining that door swinging open only to realize its still closed. Sometimes its hard to go on.
Im dreaming of forever, wishing for tomorrow.